The Comparison Game: It's the Winner-Take-All Round

Let's be honest: The comparison game is one we play daily. We've all walked down a street or been in a mall or flipped through a magazine and at some point thought, "Do I look like that?!?" Whether it's the hair, fashion style, make-up level, or butt size, we've all wondered how we truly appear to other people. It's a natural human emotion to want to present our best (and best-looking) sides to everyone we meet; why else would there be a need for malls? Sane people do not go to crowded buildings full of over-priced merchandise simply to enjoy the ambiance. Personally, I find I can't go to malls anymore because they give me a horrible inferiority complex that I am not five foot four, cannot fit into a size 0, and am not at all comfortable showing as much of my non-0-size body as is legally allowable within the confines of indecent exposure. 

But why is that? Why do I find myself wanting to diet for days and suddenly unhappy with my entire wardrobe, appearance, and body shape after a trip to the mall? It comes back to the comparison game. Public Relations reps know exactly what they're doing and do it very well to convince me why my belongings and myself are not good enough. If I dress the way these models do, I will instantly have handsome, shirtless men fawning over my every move. Right? If I trowel make-up onto my face until my original features are indistinguishable, I will be the envy of every woman. Of course! And if I eat nothing and look like an emaciated Holocaust victim, I will finally have achieved "true beauty." Without a doubt...So I compare: compare my style of dress to that girl's over there, compare my pant size with the mannequin's, and compare the lack-luster finish of my complexion to the glow of Maybelline, thinking that one day, I will finally look just right. What a sad, sinful frame of mind to find myself trapped in. Why do size 0 jeans make one girl better from another who wears 6, 8, 10, 12, or 14? Why does one girl's choice for modesty label her as "lame" (or whatever lingo is proper nowadays for "uncool")? When I get to heaven, the Lord will not ask what size pants I wore, what stores I shopped in, or how many whistles I got. We've heard it before until it has almost lost its meaning, but I'll say it one more time: true beauty is within. The most drop-dead gorgeous model can be the nastiest, ugliest person up-close. And the plainest Jane can have the sweetest disposition of all. If such temporal matters are treated so trivially by the One who made me, loves me, and sent His only Son to die for me, why should I let puny humans make it seem so important?

Sadly, this comparison frame of mind does not limit itself to women and the adolescent. How often do we use a comparison to justify or hide our own feelings of inadequacy or even our own shortcomings? "Oh, sure, I know I'm not the nicest person in the world, but at least I'm not like her." "I could probably communicate better, but have you seen the way he talks to me?!" "I might speak my mind a little too freely, but I'm nothing like her." "My house isn't the neatest, but have you seen her's?!" "So I need to exercise more; at least I don't look like him." How do the actions of someone else justify our own? If someone speaks a bit too freely and in an un-loving tone, where are we allowed to respond in kind? If someone hurts us by something they do or say, are we therefore allowed to treat them like dirt because we've been "wronged"? 

Such comparisons only reveal one thing that we should already know: we have sinful natures. What does an animal do when it's cornered? It lashes out. Our sinful natures are like cornered animals: we try to keep them at bay, but there are times when through vanity, injured pride, or a dozen other relatively insignificant reasons we feel the need to lash out and in so doing, often hurt the people we care about the most. A pastor from childhood once said something I'll never forget in a sermon: "When you point the finger at someone else, just remember: you have three more pointing right back at you." Before we go to remove the speck of dust or plank from our brother or sister's eyes, we need to examine ourselves and see that we're not as great as we think we are. 

So why do we continue to play the comparison game? In some rounds, it is an attack from Satan himself, whispering in our ears that we're not good enough, that Jesus couldn't possibly love us in this condition, that we need to be like her, that we need to act like him, before we're "worthy." Friends, Jesus's redeeming blood on the cross is what makes us worthy. Not the price tag, not the size, not the store. In other rounds, the comparison game is a defense mechanism, a way for us not to have to examine ourselves by shifting the spotlight on someone else. Shame on us! If we can't even be honest about our own failings, how can we judge someone else? 


Next time you find yourself in an endless round of the comparison game, remember: there are three fingers still pointing back at you...and there is nothing wrong with a comfy pair of non-0-size jeans from a no-name store. They look great on you.