The Road Taken...and Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 

"The Road Not Taken" ~Robert Frost

This has always been one of my favorite poems. I know, I know, it’s everyone’s favorite poem, right? The only one we can remember from high school English class, if we can remember high school at all. The only poem that didn’t require too much dissection, too much thinking, too much use of metaphors, and one that seemed pretty straightforward. Little of that “What do YOU think it means?” which English teachers love to spring on their sleepy students on a rainy November morning. I must admit my understanding of the poem was always pretty straightforward and lacked depth, (surprising since I simply love to read into things). I always took the poem at face value: man in woods, comes to a fork, must choose one, and he always wonders if he made the right choice. I skimmed slightly beneath the surface of the poem by thinking, “And this is a metaphor for life. Sooner or later, you come to a place where you have to make a huge decision, and you always wonder ‘what might have been.’”

In recent months though, I’ve come to see a whole other side of the poem and my interpretation of it. I’ve always looked at this poem as a once-in-a-lifetime, make-it-or-break-it decision. We all know it’s coming; when will we be faced with it? To marry or not to marry? To accept the promotion or no? To have kids or not to have kids? These are the monumental questions I always saw that poem embodying. What I’ve discovered is that my life is not filled with that many monumental decisions. Pants or a skirt to wear to work? Cook dinner or go out to eat? These are the decisions that face me throughout most of my days. Frustrated, I asked myself, “Why do I not get to try a really big decision? Does God not trust me enough? Have I proven unfaithful in the small things?” Then I just go wacky: “Did I freak out too much when I found that run in my pantyhose last week?”

Then it hit me: The fork in the road isn’t a one-time decision; it’s an everyday one. Every day that we get up and out of bed, we are starting down that forest path, listening to the leaves crackle underfoot. Some days seem like a pretty straight shot – not too many hard decisions! Huzzah! And then that co-worker pushes all the right buttons, and BOOM! a crossroads: Do I lose my temper, or do I react in love and patience? On the drive home, we’re not paying attention, take the wrong exit, KAPOW! new fork in the road: Road rage or enjoy the scenic route home?

Too mundane, you say? Surely how we react in those situations isn’t really of that much eternal consequence…right? I would argue otherwise – the decisions you make at those “small” forks in the road determine how you will react to the really big crossroads. That Jesus fish on the back of your car? Might send a mixed message to a fellow driver when they see you yelling and gesticulating behind the wheel. Those little ears in the backseat? They’re logging away every action, reaction, and temper tantrum.

Many things motivate us at these forks in the road. Some of us are motivated by fear. Confront that sister in Christ over a sinful action? We simply couldn’t. What if she didn’t like us anymore? But what if God wants to use you to call her back to Him? Others are motivated (or unmotivated as the case may be) by laziness. Go out of our way to do something special for our spouse or significant other? Ehh, maybe tomorrow. Besides, he knows how much I love him, and it’s been a long day for me. What about me? But what if he’s had a terrible day, and a sweet gesture from you is just the medicine he needs? Guilt, shame, a need for attention…the list of what motivates us and fuels our decisions at those forks in the road are endless. But we have to overcome those fears and act on our morals, our ethics, and our faith.

There will always be the “ages and ages hence” scenario. No matter if it’s a big or small crossroads, we will always be haunted by “what could have been.” I often think of what my life would be like if I had chosen the other path. My coming to Georgia for college almost didn’t happen. Only due to some inefficient employees and lost paperwork at a local community college did my family decide to let me come to Georgia. I often wonder how my life would be different if I had changed my mind at that fork in the road and decided to stay in Virginia. Would I have met my husband some other way? Would I be married to someone else? Or even at a “smaller” crossroads, what would the outcome had been if I had chosen to speak differently or act slower? Did my snappy answer to that stupid question cause that co-worker to shape up or shatter? Did my confronting that person cause them to repent or retreat? Even in writing this, I have to wonder: What will be the result? What might have been the outcome if you had never read this? Perhaps I place too much of a burden on a simple thing, but I think our God created us too complexly for that to be the case.

Take the road not traveled, but give plenty of thought to the road traveled by.