I was faced with a very difficult choice at work this week. I suppose one could say it wasn't the typical, run-of-the-mill dilemma: No co-workers were involved. No ethics were questioned. There wasn't even a question of "right" vs. "wrong." I was offered the chance at a promotion.
"Promotion?" you say. "What's the choice? Can there really be a choice when it comes to making more money? Isn't that what working is all about? Working and working for that appreciative nod from the boss, seeing the realization dawn in their eyes that here is an employee who strives and who is worthy of promotion?" And those people do have a valid point. However, this decision was a bit more involved than that. On the one hand, I had a better position in the company and better pay to consider with more responsibility and the prestige that goes along with it. On the other hand, I had remaining where I was with no real chances of moving forward and the occasional raise here and there.
The position offered more hours a week, 50 bare minimum, was a salaried position instead of hourly, and involved a very detailed list of duties too lengthy to mention here. Again, I see people shaking their heads in dismay: "What is she thinking?! What's the dilemma?!?" The difficulty came in this fashion: working a minimum of 50 hours a week would mean that all of my "extracurricular" activities would have to be either canceled or moved. I teach piano lessons on various weekday afternoons and Saturday mornings. I also am very involved in our church handbell choir as well as the puppet ministry. My husband and I volunteer for various youth events, fundraisers, and functions. We enjoy spending time with our friends and babysitting our little godson whenever we can.
True, those activities can be moved to the weekends and husband & wife time can be squeaked in here and there, but I had to seriously ask myself: Was this what I wanted? Did I want the mad rush of the business world? Did I want the "eat or be eaten" attitude necessary to accomplish important tasks? Did I want to work and work from sun up to sun down and go to bed exhausted with just as much on my plate the next day? The answer to all of these was a resounding, "No!"
Naysayers may complain that I write this to show a "holier than thou" attitude, that I want to be praised as a "martyr" or be given applause for staying "lowly." The naysayers would be terribly incorrect. I don't write for praise; I write so that someone may learn something through my experiences. And what I learned was this: Work is not the end-all-be-all of existence; work is the means to an end. Work is what pays the bills so that I might influence others for Christ. Work is what pays for my home so that I might raise a family and spend time with them. I was meant to live; I was not meant to work day-in-day-out for the sole purpose of working. I'm not saying that's what all business people do; I simply know that, personally, I could not have happily, cheerfully, or perfectly performed at that job.
Living is not working. Living doesn't involve how much you can gain or how much you can spend or how many fantastic vacations you can take. Real, true living is taking advantage of those special moments.
*Living is handbell practice: the laughter we partake in when we mess up a song and the beauty of the melody and harmony when we get it right.
*Living is teaching piano to my beautiful students: seeing the fear and trepidation slowly leave their eyes as they gain confidence and complete a song they never thought they could.
*Living is being there for friends: to celebrate, to grieve, to simply exist.
*Living is my godson: the joy and excitement in his eyes when he runs to give me a hug or pet the kitties or show me his favorite toy.
*Living is taking the time to relax: spending time with family, going to yard sales with girlfriends, participating in a church game night.
*Living is my husband: spending time together doing the things we love most - cooking, hiking, taking walks, playing games, watching our favorite shows, going to our friends' houses.
*Living will one day be my children: being called "Mommy," the hugs, the kisses, the laughter, the warmth.
Those are the things that matter. Those are my treasures. Those are my rewards.
