Mary Poppins I Am Not

If you have ever been without work, you know what a hair-raising experience it can be to job search. The first morning, you wake up, grab a cup of coffee, and either snuggle up in front of the computer to start searching or jump in the car and drive all over town filling out applications. If you live in a small town like me, you can drive to all the most promising places in one day and hear the phrase, "We're not hiring right now, but you're welcome to fill out an application" at least ten times. The second day, you stake out the computer and Google jobs in your area, creating on-line profiles, portfolios, resumes, and writing samples. The third day, you fill out all of those "second choice" jobs you'd seen the day before. The fourth day, you fill out anything you can find. 

I became quite adept at filling in information about myself the summer of 2010. I filled out applications for anything from a gas station manager to a librarian for UGA. Every day, there would be a new notice in my e-mail: "Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately, this position has already been filled..." For months, this was the case. Hope was stretched thin. Then, I hit upon a website called Care.com. The site is divided into areas for elderly care, pet care, and child care. I started looking at different job listings for the child care section and ran across several advertisements for nanny positions. Immediately, visions of Mary Poppins flooded my mind. Coming into a family's life, snapping my fingers, having all the housework done in an instant, being a great influence on young lives, maybe teaching the parents a thing or two along the way, singing "A Spoonful of Sugar" the whole way and leaving when the wind changed...sounded good to me! 

I received my first nanny interview within two days of applying. The job was 45 minutes away watching two children, a two-year-old boy and a ten-year-old girl, from 7 a.m. till 5 p.m. Monday through Friday and some possible overnight weekends. 45 minutes seemed a little extensive to drive, but all other avenues were closing (even Wal-Mart wasn't hiring). I was practically hired on the spot. I started at the beginning of August, almost to the day of receiving my last paycheck from the school.

For anyone who knows me even remotely well, I am not a morning person. I get up early when I have to, but I don't become fully myself until at least 9 a.m. after being plied with coffee, through an IV if necessary. So, getting up every morning at 5:30 to leave the house by 6:15 and having no breaks throughout a ten hour day got old very quickly. Oh, yeah, by the way, the house was a three story converted barn with all wood floors, and when they hired me, they got rid of the maid. A typical day consisted of cleaning up the breakfast dishes, doing several loads of laundry, dusting, sweeping, mopping, changing the bedsheets, making the kids breakfast and lunch, making dinner for the whole family, and playing games with the kids.

I came home exhausted and was then faced with my own housework. I was able to keep a good attitude for the first week. And then I was hit with an exhaustion unlike any other I have ever known. I was so tired I felt sick all day long. I started crying myself to sleep at night out of pure exhaustion. Suddenly, my work load increased: school started. I had to wake the two year old up at 7:30 in order to take the ten year old to school, which made the baby a bear for the rest of the day. Then, I found out the family owned a lake house that also needed cleaning on a weekly basis. At 2:45 p.m., it was back to pick up the daughter from school. The family also owned a small general store, and I suddenly started drying apple slices to be turned into chips for them to sell and wrapping homemade soap bars (there was talk of me making soap as well). 

This was not my Mary Poppins-esque vision. Not even she could snap her fingers fast enough to do all of that. The family was so sweet, but they didn't seem to realize that I was not wearing a cape. I was reading Max Lucado's A Gentle Thunder at the time, and I kept telling myself I simply wasn't trusting in God enough. Missionaries in foreign countries did much more with much less every day; couldn't I complete these tasks? Not in good health apparently...a headache formed behind my temples and stayed for the entire month of August. I saw an endless career of nanny-ing stretching out in front of me, and it was no longer full of singing and jumping through chalk pictures. It was more like the orphanage in Oliver Twist. 

Finally, on August 26th, I was called in for an interview for a job I'd applied to in April when I'd felt the first rumblings of trouble at the school. It was a customer service job, and I knew I was qualified. The hour and a half interview was more than I'd expected, but I prayed the whole way through and felt like I had done the best I could. On August 27th, I was hired and asked to start the following Monday, August 30th, (my birthday oddly enough). The family took the news better than I expected, and I was off to the new job. 

Why do I share all that? For one, you cannot tell me with a straight face that God's hand wasn't in that from the very first. There are way too many "if's" in that scenario for it to be anything but God. The paychecks covered us and our interim bills perfectly, and hopefully, I was able to be a witness to the family even in that short time period. His timing was, as always, perfect. For two, it was a good lesson for me to see that, as usual, I am not in control of anything. It's amazing to me how often I try to take control, almost as if God's got the reigns, and I lean in with zilch experience with an over-confident, "You can take a break, Lord. I've got this one." Mm-hmm. Suuuuuuure...There I was thinking I'd be a pillar of strength to this family, balancing anything they threw my way, and I kept falling asleep at their kitchen table. Trust me: God's got it, and you don't want to be in control of it. You'll drive yourself bonkers. Let Him do the work, and go along for the ride. 

Thirdly, if you find yourself in a similar situation to mine, job-wise or otherwise, take heart. Something will open up. Waiting is, unfortunately, a big part of life. I often think of my life as a theme park: waiting and waiting for hours in a line for a ride that I know will only last a few seconds. Why do it to myself? Because the ride is always worth the wait. The adrenaline, the wonder, the excitement; it's always an experience you would never take back. True, sometimes you get sick on the ride, but hey, sometimes life makes you sick too, doesn't it? Whatever waiting period you're in right now, remember: you'll get on the ride soon enough. It may last a few seconds, minutes, days, weeks, or years, but sooner or later, the ride will end, and you'll be back to waiting. And that's OK. Because when the sun sets on your time in the theme park, you'll look back as you leave and know that it was all worth it, every line and every ride. Don't waste or wish away a second of your precious time. 

Oh, yeah, and don't try to be Mary Poppins. Just you is perfect enough for God. Why would you want to be anything else?